Jul 7, 2016

How To Find Love

Love is the most amazing feeling you can have with someone. It's also the scariest. You're allowing yourself to be vulnerable and allowing someone to know the deepest part of you that no one ever sees. You're basically giving someone the chance to break your heart. You're also giving someone the chance to love you to the fullest and value you.

Growing up I didn't have a role model on what a healthy relationship looks like or even how to have one. My parents got divorced when I was in 5th grade but even before then I honestly can't recall ever seeing them hold hands while walking or sitting on the couch. I have stronger and more vivid memories of them fighting in the kitchen with them thinking that I can't hear them from my bedroom. I would grab two penny's from my piggy bank and walk up to them and offer to pay them to stop fighting and make them pick me up and sing the Barney Song, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too."

My first boyfriend was in 8th grade who I had my first make out session with. You know those first steps.
He ended up being possessive and harassed after we broke up in high school because I wouldn't get back together with him. After school, he would find me and yell at me down the hallway calling my a slut and a whore. Mind you, the wildest thing I've done at this point was make out with him. 

Over time I dated a few guys in high school but none of them respected as a person.
I was starting to lack self-confidence apart from not fitting in a school. I have two exes from high school I would say had a big impact on me and not for the positive. I get we were young kids and thought we "loved" each other but I was left feeling used and heartbroken.  

I didn't know how to value myself or that I even should have been. My mother wasn't the best example. She would date a guy to make her feel better about herself or if he had something to offer her a better life. My dad was in a different state and after the divorce my mother made it seem like my dad was the bad guy so I ended up missing out on 3 years of having a relationship with him. Even when my dad and I built our relationship back up I still didn't have a role model for dating. I wasn't taught how a man should treat me, how I should let him treat me, what to look for in a healthy relationship or how I should feel about myself while I'm in one.

It wasn't until I heard Matthew Hussey speak at Cosmopolitans Fun Fearless Life event in NYC. After hearing that British accent for 5 minutes, I was sold. I immediately ordered his book and was hooked. I learned everything from how to randomly walk up to a cute guy and confidently say hello. I learned how to flirt and not feel like a fool. The most important lesson was learning how to love and respect myself.

I realized that I wasn't in love with myself and Matthew Hussey taught me how. Once I started loving me, I found better guys. I became very picky on how the guy that took me on a date treated me. If he just wanted to get a drink, he was lazy. If he wanted to take me to just get tacos because he's too stupid to figure out what people who are allergic to gluten can and can't eat, he doesn't want to make an effort.

If they don't text you back and you only see them 3 times in a month, they're not worth your time so don't complain to your friend, "why isn't he texting me". 
Here's the answer, he's inside someone else. 

I don't know if Matthew will ever know this or even read this but Matthew Hussey has changed my life.
I went from a shy, timid girl with low confidence into a woman who wants to rule the world and have the man of her dreams right beside her to share with him.

I got the chance to tell Matthew that thanks to him I found the most amazing man who truly loves me.
With the biggest smile, he signed my book, took a photo with me and said, "It makes me so happy to hear that." 

Matthew Hussey,
Thank you. 

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