Dec 28, 2016

Turning 25

Today is my 25th birthday and I'm excited. Not for the parties, the drinks or the presents, okay, maybe some presents, but this birthday for me feels different. Like a caterpillar metamorphosing into a butterfly. Once December 1st came I felt a change in direction for my life. Where exactly? Not sure, but that's kind of the fun. I can best describe these past 25 years as both an adventure and a lesson. 

I've moved all over the United States, moved up and down New York and found my way to NYC. I've traveled to different countries for work and pleasure and still crave to see more. I fell in love with the idea of love and found myself heartbroken by it. Despite the disappointment, I chose to still believe in love and learned to love myself first before loving another. I've learned how to filter people that aren't good for me out of my life, made new friends, kept in contact with old friends and reconnected with those I've lost touch with. 

They say you can't make old friends and that's something that pulls on my heartstrings. I've fought with family and found a way to forgive them at their worst and start over. 

2016 started out as a low point for me both personally and within my career. I still kept trying my hardest not to give up even when I no longer thought I could keep trying. Friends and family cheered me on and told me they're in awe and asked how I managed to handle everything that this year has played its cards both against and for me. I really don't know. Maybe it was just surrendering to the universe and just letting it help me and not try and control what I want.

I started my blog as a creative outlet to help process this crazy life of mine. I got to a point where I wasn't happy with myself and couldn't write about being a bad ass babe when I truly didn't feel like one. One day I was in my favorite place, Barnes and Noble and picked up Add More "ing" To Your Life by Gabby Bernstein. I read a few pages and learned about starting to do "ing" like thinking, breathing, exercising, creating, painting and laughing. I started adding more "ing" to my life without focusing on an outcome.

Just feeling happy again with myself. And I do feel a lot happier than I was compared to the beginning of this year but I'm not done working on myself. I don't feel like I can say yes, I've made it to where I want to be because I know in my heart I'm not done yet. Honestly, I'm excited and nervous about that. I'll get to a point where I want to be and then look over it and stop to think, hmmm... This is great. Now, what more can I do?

I don't know what 25 will bring but I do know I have ideas I want to make a reality and love that I have amazing people I get to share my journey with and with you through this blog.
Here's to turning 25 and for a new year ahead of all of us. 


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